I have discussed today’s verse before (in 2017), but it is worth mentioning again in a little more detail. It was written by Kyoshi, whose prolific verses on the whole tend to be rather bland, and who wrote in and beyond the time of Shiki. He even took over as editor of the magazine — Hototogisu — that Shiki had formerly edited. That means we are in the “haiku” period, even though like Shiki, Kyoshi kept season words and a more conservative kind of verse that was sometimes indistinguishable from hokku — which is why I am discussing a verse by him today as daoku (objective hokku) in English. Here it is:
On the dust on the stones —
Ishi no ue no hokori ni furu ya aki no ame
石 の 上 の 埃 に 降るや 秋 の 雨
Stone ‘s on ‘s dust at falling ya autumn ‘s rain
I think of this as one of those transitional verses written at the time when one season has begun merging into another, in this case summer has transitioned into autumn. We still feel the lingering heat and dryness of summer in the dust on the stones, but the rain is the rain of autumn, and its drops spatter the dust on the stones into mud. It is a very objective verse, and quite good because it not only lets us feel the seasonal change clearly, but it also has a strong appeal to the senses in its mixture of dryness (Yang) and wetness (Yin). So we see it is a verse with harmony of contrast.
You may recall that harmony of contrast is a technique used in hokku through combining things felt to be opposite or contrary in a way that reveals an underlying harmony, as in this combination of dust and rain, dryness and wetness, that nonetheless create a very satisfying combination.
We could translate the verse very closely to Kyoshi, like this:
On the dust
On the stones it falls —
There is something a bit awkward about that, however, as we often find when we try to translate more literally. So we could translate a bit more loosely, while still keeping the meaning:
The dust on the stones —
You may recall that I once made a slight variation on Kyoshi’s verse in this daoku:
Rain spatters the dust
On the stones.
R. H. Blyth spoke of the poet “dissolved in the object,” by which he meant the same as we say in hokku: that the writer must get out of the way so that Nature may speak. That selflessness is the objectivity of daoku. Today’s verse, therefore, well qualifies as daoku– objective hokku.