Onitsura wrote this spring hokku:
又もまた花にちられてうつらうつら
Mata mo mata hana ni chirarete utsura utsura
Here it is in daoku form:
Again and again
As the blossoms fall —
Nodding off.
It is a very relaxing verse, with the gentle falling of the blossoms and the drowsiness of the experience. Notice how it is expressed with no need for the word “I.” Notice too that this is a good example of something seen in a different way — which is very helpful in composing good daoku.
A Japanese would know from the word hana in the original that the blossoms are most likely cherry blossoms, but in English it could be any blossoming tree scattering its petals in the spring.
We could be more specific, like this:
Again and again
As cherry blossoms fall —
Nodding off.
David
HOKKU 