A repeat of one of my favorite old winter hokku, by Hashin — clear, direct, simple, and very effective:
No sky, no earth;
For those who may not have experienced a good snowstorm, this hokku is an excellent description. The boundaries of sky and ground disappear, and one feels as though standing in the midst of a vast, cold universe of falling snow. One even has the sensation of floating upward while standing still, due to the motion of the snow.
Often people try to use too many words in writing hokku, try to say too much when, as the saying goes, “less is more.” Remember that one of the characteristics of hokku is simplicity.
Here is the transliterated original and a rather literal translation:
Ten mo chi mo nashi ni yuki no furishikeri
Heaven too earth too are-not at snow’s falling-incessantly